


Falling

by Thuershen (radhaj)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: FIx It, Gen, Time Travel, implied fix-it that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radhaj/pseuds/Thuershen
Summary: SPOILERS FOR IW pt.1. And Ragnarok, I suppose.Loki had had years to come up with plenty of plans for when Thanos comes for him.Loki also had one conversation that made him throw all those plans out the window.Second part/chapter added now.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what it takes for me to start writing MCU fics apparently. 18 movies, I was fine. 15 minutes of #19 and I'm swearing and typing.  
> I (try to) fully believe that Marvel will properly fix it properly in IW pt.2, but for now, these are the ways I deal with canon.

Loki stopped screaming after about a minute. He had not surrendered to his fate so fast, no, but screaming didn’t really help and was quite undignified to continue past the initial surprise, wasn’t it? And it was really not conductive to finding out more about his situation when he was continuously falling through a strange void where no one could hear him already.

Tumbling through space like this was, really, quite distracting and Loki struggled to do anything productive, even with the help of his seiðr. The void seemed limitless, but at the same time it had an orange glow around its _edges_. There was a greenish tint to the expanse of space itself, but whenever Loki tried to probe the magic that sustained it, it was snatched away from his grasp. It seemed that whoever trapped him knew enough of him to have prepared defenses against, at least, the more basic magical interference. And Loki struggled against the wind to do much more than that.

The falling got old really really fast. Loki had done quite enough of it in his life already, thank you very much. Both literal and metaphorical. So he was honestly quite glad when he suddenly stopped.

“Okay,” he breathed out, flicking his hair from his face and looking around himself, eyes sharp, anxious to see if anything else changed in his situation, other than his velocity vector, “Floating now. I can work better with floating, I think,” he spoke to himself, glad to no longer have air whooshing past his ears. He composed himself as well as he could with no sense of up and down or any supports to ground him and reached for the magic surrounding him again.

And gasped. Something else _had_ changed indeed. The magic no longer shied away from him. In fact, it seemed to submit to being examined, and what The God of Mischief sensed was enough to make even him gape.

“This is…” he started, but was interrupted by a voice behind him.

“…constructed with the help of the knowledge that I’ve gained from studying the Eye of Agamotto,” his thought was finished for him, and he whirled around (as well as he could while floating) to stare at the man who was in the void with him. Or whose _image_ was in the void with him, since Loki could immediately sense it was not a physical presence, “Otherwise known as the Infinity Stone of Time, of which I am guardian,” the man continued, standing behind him as casually as if he was on the floor of his living room and Loki scowled, his hands already itching to his sides to his daggers. However, he was aware he was at a disadvantage, stuck in the man’s own realm. Antagonizing the one who had to be his captor was not in his best interests right now. And Loki did nothing if it wasn’t in his best interests. But he would be damned if he was outclassed in _seiðr_ (or magic – Loki was in no mood to get into semantics) by a Midgardian. Summoning his power now that he was slightly more stable, he managed to get himself stand upright and on level ground with the unknown man.

“So,” he said, trying to steady his breathing, “An actual sorcerer of Midgard? How… curious,” he drawled out, controlling his temper, “What do you want with me?”

“Initially, I only wished to safely detain you and make sure you did no harm to Earth,” the man declared, looking at him warily and resignedly, “In the future, however, when _this_ me comes from… I need to entreat you something. You may relax – in this matter we are on the same side, Loki of Asgard.”

Future? Some sort of time travel? Loki was not too taken aback by the idea, especially if the Time stone was involved to some capacity. But he frowned as he fixed his eyes on the medallion that hung off the Midgardian’s neck, glowing. Another Infinity stone… This did not bode well. The fear that was always at the back of Loki’s mind flared to the forefront of it. If this man was from the future and yet sought him out to talk with him, did it mean…

Loki swallowed dryly. Now that he looked more closely at the Midgardian, he looked quite bedraggled. Like he had come from a fight, for example.

No, this did not bode well at all.

“You have me at a disadvantage, man of the future. While you know my name, I know not yours or anything about you.”

“Doctor Stephen Strange,” the goateed man introduced himself, “We should not waste time for any pleasantries, however. I may be able to access this dimension from anywhere, from any time and _at_ any time, but my current companions might still notice my… preoccupation if I take too long, which would not do.”

“Then perhaps you should tell me what it is you came to talk to me about,” Loki suggested.

“I’ll cut right to the chase, since I know you must suspect the reason why I’m here,” Strange said, and Loki’s heart skipped a beat in his chest at the indirect confirmation of his worst fears, “I’ve used the Time stone to explore all the possible futures from the moment that I come from. We are in a situation where there is less than one in fourteen million chance of anything akin to a _good_ ending. Just _one_ possible future where we ultimately win that I must somehow make sure happens. And to my surprise, examining it closer led me to the realization that I must go and have this conversation with you in the _past_.”

“To _entreat_ me,” Loki sneered, hiding his dread, as usual, behind a mocking expression, “To do _what,_ mortal? What do you suppose you have the right to ask a _god_ to do?”

Despite his earlier note of not having much time, the Midgardian actually hesitated for a long moment before answering.

“For reasons I am sure you don’t need explained, I can’t reveal too many specifics about what is coming and this conversation must be kept a secret from _everyone,_ ” the man finally said in a quick mumble of words, and despite his fear, Loki actually managed a snort and an eye-roll at the presumption of such a warning. The man might be guardian of the Time stone, but Loki was _Loki_ and he was sure he could still run circles around the mortal with explanations about the dangers of breaking timelines.

“Just say it,” he hissed, impatient. The man’s expression became even more stony than before.

“At a certain point of the future,” Strange started in a slow but even voice, “You will _know_ when. But at that point you _must_ , I repeat, you _must_ hand over the tesseract to Thanos. And then you must be killed by him, and not even try to come back to life.”

Honestly, at first, Loki thought he had misheard. He blinked, reexamining the words in his head, but they didn’t change even after a few mental replays. He then chuckled, tilting his head and closing his eyes for a brief moment. When he re-opened them, he had an amused grin on his face that showed off his teeth perfectly.

“I must say, _Stephen_ , you surprise me. I never thought I’d say this about a mortal, but we seem to be quite similar in a few aspects,” he said, actually starting to walk around the other, “Both of us – quite clearly the most gifted in mystical arts of our people. Both of us very intimately familiar with Infinity stones. And both, apparently, with a rather twisted sense of humor,” he laughed again, sounding almost as mad as he had been during his New York days to his ears. He was quite sure he looked the part too, “Although I just have to say, _this_ joke... I don’t know if it is the subject, or, perhaps, the timing, or the delivery… but I must admit…” he stopped suddenly and fixed with Midgardian magician with a glare, his crazy grin slipping off his face in a flash, “ _I’m not a fan._ ”

To his credit, Strange neither flinched nor seemed intimidated in any other way by his slightly unhinged reaction.

“I expected as much…” he muttered.

“Did you?” Loki hissed, “For even _I_ am quite surprised at my current RESTRAINT! Do you really think I would willingly _die_ , just so the universe can get a happy ending? I have my priorities straight, and as much as I’d like to screw that… that _bastard’s_ plans, my first priority is still _me_!” he yelled right in the other sorcerer’s face. Strange closed his eyes for a second, gathered himself, and opened them again.

“I know how it sounds,” he says, keeping his voice calm, “It sounds insane. But The Mad Titan has to succeed in gathering the stones. He has to receive the tesseract from _your hands_. And then he must cleanse half the universe with the snap of his fingers. For the record, _I_ will be in that half,” he states then, not losing even a smidgeon of his calm, and that actually gets Loki to reign his temper back in… at least for now, “I know it sounds like a loss,” Strange continues, “But it would be a temporary one. Just part of the chain of events that need to happen in this exact way. And if they do, then the cleansing can then be _un_ done. And that includes the return of… half the Asgardian people too.”

There was something in the magician’s tone as he uttered that last sentence that Loki didn’t trust, he just couldn’t put his finger on what it was exactly. But it didn’t matter since he knew perfectly well what it was that he didn’t like about the _entirety_ of it. He chuckled again, this time humorlessly.

“Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing king for the last few years. It was like a dream come true, literally. I don’t really _wish_ for any of Asgard’s people to die, but, you see, I also have no interest in becoming a martyr for them,” he shrugged. Of course, he admitted in his mind, if Thor ever found out that he could have possibly done something, he might get a little upset but… Well, as Strange himself had pointed out, it was necessary that no one would find out about this little chat. Loki would certainly be in no hurry to enlighten his brother about this.

This raised an interesting question, however. Given the choice between half his people and his little adopted brother, who would the noble Thor choose? Although, honestly, maybe it was not that interesting a question after all. Loki knew he had trampled over what the God of Thunder cared about a few times too many. His heart gave a painful twinge that he refused to acknowledge fully.

To hell with it. Loki would choose himself over half the _universe_. What did it matter what the oaf would do?

“Loki,” Strange’s voice woke him from his musings, “I know you’ve been aware of this threat for way longer than any of us. You had years to form a contingency plan upon a contingency plan and even when the situation changes drastically, you can come up with new, brilliant plans within moments. With your intellect, skills and powers, some of those plans, no doubt, would lead to way better _immediate_ results than what I am proposing. But I’ve seen what the futures hold. I know what happens long term. And I can only tell you one more thing,” he said, holding Loki’s gaze without shrinking back, “In any other future than the one I’m proposing, Thor dies.”

Loki froze.

His heart skipped a beat. Then another.

He closed his eyes.

He took a breath.

He exhaled it.

He realized he had not even _considered_ , earlier, that…

…

Loki would choose himself over half the universe. He would choose himself over three quarters of the universe. Loki would choose himself over the entire universe.

 _Almost_ the entire universe.

“I didn’t come here to extract a promise to do the right thing from you. My only mission was to tell you what I did,” Strange’s voice seemed to come from somewhere far away, as Loki tried to steady his breathing and get control over himself again, “There is still time before that moment of time comes. Believe me, things will change a lot for you between now and then. Your decision over this matter will probably change as well, multiple times. Unfortunately, this was the only point in the past where I could reach you, so I can only bid you to try not to dwell too much on it until the moment comes. You’ll see clearer then. That, I promise.”

Loki finally managed to reach some sort of steadiness within himself, and raise his gaze back to the Midgardian. His eyes were unreadable and he said nothing. So Strange continued.

“I can, perhaps, make another promise. Although this one is… conditional. You see, while I can see the path to that future clearly, it itself diverges again at some point and I can't say anything for sure anymore. But once the threat of Thanos is gone, _if_ I regain possession of the Time stone… It is a very slim chance, but _if_ at all possible, I promise to you that I will do all that is within my power, and the stone’s power, to bring back you and all of your people that would be lost to Thanos. So although I said you can’t be coming back on your own, perhaps, hang around if you can. And keep your people there too. That might make it a little easier. You have some experience with the other side already, don’t you?”

Having said his piece, the human sorcerer turned, supposedly to leave. He already started blurring around the edges when Loki managed to speak up again.

“Wait,” he said, quietly, forcefully pushing away all his feelings and confusion for the time being. The magician paused, “You said you can access this dimension from whenever, right? Stop playing games then, at least. Just spit me out to whenever it is that you no longer need to _safely detain_ me,” he sneered.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Strange answered with no real regret in his voice.

“Why the Hel not?” Loki growled.

“Well, first of all,” the human explained calmly, “You could use some time to recover to your regular state so that the past me would not suspect what transpired in here. Second of all… you need to say the line.”

“What li-AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-“

Loki was falling again.

He did not stop screaming this time.

 

*-*

 

-*-

 

*-*

 

_THUD_

“I have been falling… for _thirty minutes_!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's struggle with his new knowledge through a few key moments of Ragnarok and IW1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's little space for Loki's mischief or unique sense of humor in his own head when in these sorts of situations, so if you're searching for that, you might be disappointed. I don't believe it to be OOC though, at least.

On Loki’s eighth day on Sakaar, once his position at the Grandmaster’s side had been secured enough that he could relax a little, the God of Mischief finally had the time to just stop and consider a few things and possibilities that were on his mind.

The first one was that the strange Doctor Strange had somehow screwed up his astral visit to the past. That something had been changed by it and Thor was _already_ dead, killed by their long-lost sister, and there was no one-and-only-one future anymore where Loki’s own sacrifice could ensure his brother’s survival.

After all, as much as he had tried to push the conversation out of his mind and concentrate on the present after the magician’s portal had finally regurgitated him onto the floor of his grand homestead, Loki knew he hadn’t been unaffected by the knowledge that he now had of the choice that lay ahead of him. There had been a strange disconnectedness in him while he had listened to Odin talk, when he had watched the Allfather fade away or when Hela had finally appeared before them in all of her cold glory.

If he was supposed to be able to choose death at Thanos’ hand, Loki had thought, then _surely_ what was happening now would not kill him. Surely, Odin’s view of his daughter was as far from reality as was his view of his sons, love them as he swore he did, and in all likelihood the threat she brought with herself was not quite what the Allfather had made it out to be.

Surely, they could come to some sort of an arrangement.

And then she had demanded that they kneel and it had been the perfect thing, the perfect _word_ to snap him out of it. His mind had cleared up and he thought, now, that from that point onwards he had acted the same as he would have without the time-defying conversation eating at him. That he had been fast enough to call for Bifrost, the he had thrown his dagger as accurately as he could possibly have…

But what if this was already a different timeline? What if Thor shouting his name in a warning was the last Loki ever saw of his brother?

Was this what Thor felt all those times he had thought Loki was dead?

Then, on his twenty-seventh day on Sakaar, as he was socializing in the Grandmaster’s party and telling crude anecdotes he made out of the defining moments of his life, he heard his name being called again.

Strange’s future, it seemed, was still on offer.

*-*

The second thing to consider was that maybe there was no choice at all. That Strange’s visit had already ensured there would be _no_ diverting from the one path.

He had told Loki he hadn’t come for any promises. Was it not because he had already known, at that time, what choice Loki would make?

*-*

Sakaar was savage, chaotic, lawless. It was like the garbage bin of the universe, where everything lost and everything unsavory and everything unneeded flowed in and then simmered together. You could end up here from anywhere, yet it was as far removed as any place in the universe could be.

 _Time_ flowed different in Sakaar.

Truly, there was a sort of beauty in just how deranged the place was and Loki was fascinated with it. And he thought that if there was one place where perhaps Strange’s sight might have not reached, one place where Thanos’ cleansing would not touch, it would have to be here, in the Grandmaster’s domain.

Perhaps, if Loki just played his cards well, he could keep both himself and Thor tucked away in here long enough to craft a small, secret future of their own where they both lived. Perhaps he could _change_ how things played out.

“See, Loki, life is about… it’s about growth, it’s about change. But you seem to just wanna stay the same.”

Or perhaps, Loki thought, as he managed to crawl another inch closer to the remote, Thor was right. Maybe he had tried to change the wrong thing. Maybe it was not about the future, it was about himself. It was about becoming _more_.

Oh screw that.

Screw the sappiness, Loki would not give into it even with the obedience disc slowly melting his brain.

_“You could be more.”_

He was Loki, God of Mischief. So maybe it was not enough for his brother, like Loki himself had never seemed to be enough. Maybe he was unable to change.

But there was something satisfying at the idea of doing it all his own way until the very end.

*-*

The tesseract was just _there_ , almost teasing him with its availability. And Strange _had_ told Loki that Thanos should receive the cube from _his_ hands, anyway.

Loki might not have been completely decided on what he’d do when the time came yet, but he wanted to keep the possibility open, at the very least. How would he be able to hand the tesseract over if it was floating in the void that would be left when Surtur finished Asgard’s destruction?

No, it was better to grab it. And if the tesseract made his own escape from the crumbling Realm Not-So-Eternal much easier, well, that was just a bonus.

*-*

The trip to Earth would take a few weeks.

Loki was not sure how he should feel about the destination, but he was even more unsure about the duration.

He stared out the window into the vastness of space, he thought and he counted. How long would it take for news of Asgard’s destruction to reach Thanos? Just how long before the Titan learned that the only thing that had held him slightly back for so long, the protection of a strong and thriving race of warrior-gods, had finally been stripped away from the tesseract?

When exactly would he and his children reach the ruins of the golden palace in space? Would he know immediately that the cube was no longer there?

Would Loki’s usage of the tesseract to escape make it easier for Thanos to track them down?

Either way, it was just a matter of time. Would it be today, or tomorrow?

Would they reach Earth before Thanos reached them?

Should Loki force himself to talk about it to Thor? Would he even be _able_ to open up about the experiences he had with the Mad Titan? Would Thor forgive him for what he had done if he revealed what had pushed him into it? Did Loki care either way?

Did any of it matter? It couldn’t possibly matter whether he talked or not if Strange hadn’t included this in his warning, right?

…

Should he tell Thor what was weighing on his mind?

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to go back to Earth?”

Not that. Not _that_ part.

And then it’s too late.

*-*

There was just enough time for one act of defiance. There was just enough dark energy for Heimdal to promise one safe transfer. Not for _all_ their people. Not even for all the defenseless civilians.

A couple hundred people. Ones that they could gather fastest. Loki laughed, hysterically, in his mind, thinking of their random selection for life against Thanos’ random selection for death.

When the question of _where_ was raised, Loki remembered the only possible place and pushed Valkyrie into the crowd (small, so small, way too small) before she could realize what was happening.

“Sakaar,” he said, confident and grinned at her enraged face as it was enveloped in rainbow colors, “Give my greetings to the Grandmaster.”

*-*

_“You’ll see clearer then. That, I promise.”_

And so, when the moment of time came, Loki did.

Doctor Stephen Strange was, by Loki’s own observation, similar to him. And yet the clever God of Mischief had failed to realize, until now, one more way in which they were similar: they both lied and manipulated the truth as it suited them.

Loki had been told that the fate of half the Asgardian people would depend on his decision. But Strange had failed to mention that by this point, half of Asgardian people would amount to, at most, a hundred scared refugees hidden away on a garbage can of a planet.

The magician had promised him to try and bring back any who were killed in the confrontation with Thanos, but even if that happened, there was no bringing back the Realm Eternal. No bringing back those that fell because of Hela. Asgard would still, at most, be a ship of survivors without a home.

Perhaps he had even been lied to about there being only one way for Thor to survive.

But Loki could see, clearly, that none of that mattered. Because he now knew which of his own words in that pocket dimension had been lies. And it made his decision easy.

He would die, not knowing if it would be the final time.

He would die, simply for the chance that a few more of _his_ people would live.

He would die, because even a God of Mischief and Chaos would never stand for the travesty that the Mad Titan was determined to commit.

He would die, because it was the right choice to make.

Most importantly, he would die, proudly and willingly, because he knew that was the only way to make sure that the purple bastard in front of him would let the other half of his whole live.

 

*-*

 

_I, Loki, Prince of Asgard, rightful king of Jotunheim, God of Mischief… Odinson._

Have I become more, brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had more I wanted to write in this that either got lost in the recesses of my memory before I could write it up or which I simply couldn't fit in nicely, so that's a bit sad. But I'm glad I got this out at all.
> 
> Other stuff: in case it's a bit unclear, the Asgardians are already a week or two into the trip towards Earth when Loki is musing about the duration of the trip and Thanos shows up in this fic.
> 
> The thing I struggled the most with in this was deciding that Loki had told Thor nothing about Thanos or the tesseract in his possession in that time in this fic. But that was just sort of the way the fic flowed and the only way the ending worked out the way it did. That was the possibility I wanted to explore. BUT.
> 
> In reality, I believe canon Loki must have told Thor and Bruce at least SOME things, because otherwise both of them know way too much about Thanos to tell other people later. The only other explanation would be that there were some hurried explanations made between the Ragnarok's mid-credit scene and the beginning of Infinity War. Maybe some of it even by Thanos himself, in the sort of gloating-villain way ("Hey didja know I was the one that tortured your bro and made him attack Earth lol?"). But I think that's less likely.  
> More likely is that Loki was not naive enough to think it was a good idea to keep all that secret anymore, what with Thanos somewhere out there, probably keeping his eye on Asgard, and came clean at some point. Any reactions in IW that are at odds with that idea could be explained by some plan that they concocted for it. Because Loki must have had a plan. Maybe a plan that included his own death (which he probably DID fail to disclose to Thor), either permanent or not, but there was still a plan. I won't accept anything else.


End file.
